Pretentious Posters

While browsing online forums recently, I have noticed a greater number of people quoting themselves in their signatures. People, let's get this out in the open: When you quote yourself in your signature, you look like a complete dick. A giant, pretentious, narcissistic dick.

You want your signature to be witty, correct? 99% of you think you are far wittier than you are. Chances are, your quote is not witty. In fact, you are proving your complete lack of wit by quoting yourself in the first place.

Trust me, you'd appear much wittier and much less pretentious by quoting anybody else.

Dell Support

We have a lot of customers that use Dell PCs for our systems. Sometimes I have to contact Dell, since all work on their PCs has to go through them, due to warranty issues.

I refuse to call them, since I always end up with someone who barely speaks English, so I use the support chat function. At least this way I am sure I will be speaking to someone with at least a basic command of the language.

Unfortunately, it does not guarantee I will be speaking with someone any smarter.

My latest call was from a customer who had a dead power supply. How do I know it's the PSU?I'm smart like that. Trust me, after years of tech support, it takes me a minute to figure out if it's the motherboard or the PSU.

So Dell, they wanted me to check out an LED light that doesn't exist on the system. Um, sorry lady, no light, because it doesn't exist.

Oh, ok, well then have the customer open the chassis and remove everything except the PSU, the motherboard, and the processor so we can determine if it is the PSU or the motherboard.

Are you f**king kidding me? You must be f**king kidding. You want me to call a busy customer and tell them to completely disassemble a PC? Not only does this customer no have time to do this, they have no idea how to do this. That's why they are calling us, and that's why I am on with you. And that's why you're going to be sending a tech to replace the PSU. Jackass.

Crank

Dumbest action movie I have seen in a long, long time. I really like Jason Statham, but damn this movie sucked.

Eragon

And in complete contrast to my glowing love of Superman Returns, this movie is a stinker. They took everything cool from the book and either left it out or gayed it up incredibly. The book was impressive because it seemed so mature for being written by a 16 year old. The movie is impressive only because they somehow magically took a book that seemed mature, and made it seem very immature. Not to mention, what the hell did you do to the dragon? I've never seen a more stupid looking dragon in all of filmdom. Hell, the dragon from The Never Ending Story is cooler looking than this one.

Superman Returns

Yes, I know, this movie has been out for a while now. Well, I don't like the theaters anymore, the people always ruin the movie, and the cost is insane. I can buy the movie on DVD for the price of two tickets.

So, I just watched Superman Returns tonight.

I loved it. It's right up there with Spiderman in my top Super-hero movies. I really liked the original two movies as well, and I think Brian Singer did one hell of a job with this one. I also loved that they used the John Williams music. I read Singer refused to film unless he could use Williams music, which I think was brilliant. Everybody knows that tune, and it would have been a major loss not to have it in the film.

Now all I want to know is: Why did the X-men films not turn out this good?

Aliens Cause Global Warming

This is just one of my all time favorite lectures. It was given by Micheal Crichton at the California Institue of Technology on Jan 17, 2003.

Anyone who knows me knows that I think Global Warming is one big chunk of poo, and Crichton just really sums it up with this lecture.

http://www.crichton-official.com/speeches/speeches_quote04.html

New Review, New Ego Stroke!

My newest review is now up at MMORPG.com. Follow the link if you're interested.
http://www.mmorpg.com/showFeature.cfm/loadFeature/1214

As soon as the review was posted, the good people at Bigfoot Networks decided to make my day by splashing a quote from it across their website.
http://www.killernic.com/KillerNic/KillerNewsReviews.aspx?Featured=39

Actually, Bigfoot Networks really made my week last night with an email from the head of marketing, but I don't want to go in to it until things are hashed out. Let's just say that I may get even more fun things to write about in the near future.

Still working on testing the new Logitech G5 and Razer Death Adder mice.
p
That's all for now, folks!

Nor'Easter 2007 Lan

I am going to be attending this lan party in May. Let's hope it's fun, since I am spending a ton of money to go.

Hotel (I like sleeping in a bed, thanks. Sleeping on the floor is for you young-ins.)
- $80 (Splitting with my buddy Tony)
Monitor (Mine is too expensive to even consider taking)
- $166.99 (19" Wide screen LCD. Used.)
Lan Party Carrying strap (My old PC had handles, my new one...not so much.)
- $ 16.99
Lan Party Registration
- $40

Then there's food, drinks, the bar (what, you thought we could game 2 days straight?), gas, and whatever else we may need to pay for. I'd sell my body to make up for the expenses, but my wife frowned when I mentioned that idea, so I guess I'm stuck sucking it up.

Goals

It's important to have goals. Especially if you want to play hockey.

Yeah, that was a bad pun.

My goal? I have many. Some are pipe-dream, unobtainable goals which I shall forgo mentioning.
Obtainable goals?

* Get a job that I like. Hell, I'd settle for a job where I am not expected to work 24 hours a day for four days. I'd like to see my wife once in a while.

* Finish my book and see it published. I don't even care if I have to self-publish. It worked for Matthew Reilly.

* Get a full albums worth of original songs and record them. Again, self-published or not, I don't care.


By the way, this is how you tell when I've had too little sleep. I start blabbing about crap like this. Does anyone care? Doubtful, but it's my blog, so I can do what I want. HA!

Stargate, Sci-Fi, and ratings

Well, I guess the rating for Stargate: Sg-1 and Stargate: Atlantis have dropped since the mid-season cliff-hangers. Gee, I can't imagine why. Who the hell where the geniuses that came up with a mid-season break of 6 months? I barely remember what happened last week, you want me to recall what was going on in this show 6 months ago?

Why is this such a trend? Every show that does this reports drops in ratings. Duh, don't do it then!