Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Uwe Boll: Gigantic idiot!

Yeah, I know, that's not really news.

Uwe Boll, master of the disastrous video game to movie conversion, is gracing us with another pile of stomped shit this spring in the form of a Postal movie. As if that weren't bad enough, as if he hasn't given us enough reasons to want to see him tried and imprisoned for torturing people with his "movies", he is now releasing Postal on the same weekend as Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull.

Now, in and of itself, that's a pretty fucking boneheaded move. In the movie business, releasing against an anticipated blockbuster is akin to financial suicide unless your movie is in a completely different genre. (Say, Indy is action/adventure, releasing a mushy romance movie might appeal to people that like romance and not action/adventure.) I guess Uwe figures complete shit is a genre, so he can release that weekend with no issue.

On top of this blatant stupidity, Uwe actually regales us with fantasies that Postal will out-perform Indiana Jones at the box office. Mr. Boll, I guarantee you that the only category any of your movies will ever outperform any other movie in is the Suck category.

Uwe also goes on to claim he is a better actor that Sir Ben Kingsley, a better director that Steven Speilberg, and that Harrison Ford is too old to draw crowds at the box office. Clearly he is heavily medicated, or he lives in a complete fantasy world.


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