Went out and bought myself a new car today!
Ok, it's not new. It's slightly used.
Ok, it's not really a car.
And I didn't really get it today.
This is more amazing than the time Michael Jackson visited my house to use the bathroom.
Let's start over. I went and put a down-payment on a pre-owned, 2005 Jeep Liberty today. This represents the first time in my life I will actually be buying a car from a dealer. I'm pretty excited, as it's a really nice looking Jeep, and I've always wanted to own one.
Thank you, retarded soccer moms of America, for finally realizing you DON'T FUCKING NEED A 4x4 VEHICLE TO GET GROCERIES. Now that everyone is dumping SUVs for sub-compact cars, those of us who want to drive off road can finally afford to get a vehicle that will take us there.