Monday, December 5, 2011

The 99%

My fellow Americans;
You are the 99%. That's right. 99% of you are FUCKING STUPID.

I read the news and your comments on it every day and I have come to the conclusion that the reason that this country is so fucked up right now is that you are all morons. After every news story is a series of comments by readers (Or more accurately, watchers, as so little of you can actually read and comprehend what it is you are reading) wherein you bicker back and forth like children about whose side is better. Liberals vs conservatives, Democrats vs Republicans, you fight like you are championing your favorite sports teams. Yet, in all of your fighting, none of you ever seem to be able to address things in a logical manner. Instead, you simply tow the faction line. Republicans are for things because some famous Republican said it was so. Likewise the Democrats. God forbid you think for yourselves.

I constantly read about how bad unions are for the economy. And yet, I cannot ever seem to get a straight answer about why this is. People will talk themselves in circles with statistics and rhetoric, and never ever come close to anything resembling a logical answer. The real reason that you think unions are bad (or good) is that you were told to think they were bad (or good) by your party of choice.

Today I was reading an article about gold mining in West Africa that is being done by children in horrible working conditions. After the article were thousands of comments by watchers about how this was awful, and it must be the Republicans' fault. No, it is awful and it must be the Democrats' fault. No, it's because conservatives are evil! No, it's because liberals are stupid! Why can't it just be awful? Why can't people ignore party lines and get together and do something about awful things like this?

Because you are all fucking stupid.

Now, don't get me wrong. The 1% of the population that can actually think for themselves are not necessarily the same 1% that have all the money. A good chunk of those people are stupid as well, they just happen to have been born into money or to have good fortune smile on them, or whatever. I mean, look at our last president. He's certainly a rich man, but nobody would accuse him of being smart. (Well, OK, maybe some Republicans who have to in order to justify their support of him.)

Here's a brilliant idea. All of you assmonkey retards who can't seem to think for yourselves, you need to stop listening to Rush or O'Reilly or Hannity or whoever and start listening to me. Stop letting party loyalty get in the way of actual progress. Stop letting party loyalty drive this country down the fucking drain. Here's a secret: BOTH PARTIES ARE THE SAME. They both believe in getting power, influence, and money from suckers who buy into their bullshit. Neither party gives a good God damn about you, your family, your friends, your community or your rights. They will crush you without a second thought to get what they want. Both parties claim to stand for the Constitution of this country, and yet both parties are actively working to subvert and nullify that same document. 

By the way: Statistics. Because you are stupid, you don't know this, even though a good percentage of you went to college and SHOULD know it - STATISTICS ARE FUCKING MEANINGLESS. If you take nothing else away from a basic, entry level statistics course you should at least take that. All statistics are subject to error and interpretation, but more importantly, all statistics are subject to outright tampering and ill intentions. If a company is paying another company to prove its views are correct, the company providing the statistics is going to skew the research in a way that gets the paying company what it wants. Why? Because they want to keep getting paid and the best way to do that is to satisfy the customer.

Have you never wondered why both sides can come up with statistics that support their views? How is it possible that guns both increase and decrease crime at the same time, depending on which side you are on? Shouldn't it be one or the other? Yes, it should, but if you ask a research group to prove that guns are bad with statistics, they WILL. It's not the truth that's important, it's what they want to hear.

Also - Reactionary Law Making: Stupid beyond all reason. Politicians feel the need to try to pass legislation anytime anything bad happens because it makes them look like they are doing important work, which makes you keep them in power, which makes them rich and powerful. Logically, you cannot make bad things stop happening by passing laws. It doesn't work because bad things do not obey laws. They wouldn't be bad if they did, now would they? You can pass all of the Sarbanes-Oxley acts you like, but at the end of the day corporations are still going to fuck people over while your legislation crushes small business men and women. You can outlaw every gun on the planet, but criminals will still use them to kill people. Stop infringing on everyone's' rights  by freaking out and demanding SOMETHING be done anytime something bad happens. Punish the guilty, not the innocent. Please understand that politicians do NOT care about protecting you from bad things - hell, they cause a good percentage of bad things themselves - they only care about making it LOOK like they care, so that they can benefit from it. They use bad things to increase their standing with you.

So, in conclusion, 99% of you are stupid. Please, for the sake of humanity, realize this. Realize that you are being led by the nose by other stupid people who do not have your best interests in mind. And then stop being led by stupid people, and listen to what the 1% of thinkers in this country have to say. And that is: STOP MAKING DECISIONS BASED ON SIDES LIKE SOME BUNCH OF FUCKING CHILDREN.

EDIT: Please do not take this as a bash on the Occupy protestors. I do not agree with all of their viewpoints, but by God, at least those people are smart enough to realize how insanely fucked up our country is and they are trying to wake the rest of you morons up. Here again, however, we find people who were themselves protesting as Tea Party activists bashing on the Occupy people simply because they think they are a different sports team that must be opposed. Stop picking sides and work together, you jackasses. It's fucked up for all of us, so instead of bashing on the people who are working to change it, how about helping them instead? Or are you too stupid to even realize when you are in trouble and need help?