Dog wants to play professional soccer!

For my new-found brother-in-law.

Could there be anymore hyphens in that title?

Anyway, Basic Instructions is a hysterical comic, and this episode made me think of my...er... sister's husband. (Sorry, all the hyphens scare me.)

Favorite question # 1377

Still cold out there?

No. Even though it was 15 and snowing this morning, it's no longer cold outside. The heavens opened up, beams of brilliant golden sunshine bathed the surface of the earth and instantly warmed it to a balmy 89 degrees. Angels and birds are singing in a glorious choir while gorgeous women are dancing in bikinis in the parking lot, handing free beer to all.

OF COURSE IT'S STILL COLD YOU FUCKING NINNY!

Piano playing cat?

One more salvo in the Kimmel/Damon war

And because I'm on a Matt Damon video kick...

Matt Damon - I'm sorry, we're out of time

Come back for Ocean's 14!

Apologies to Matt Damon - Jimmy Kimmel

The video of the long-running joke.

She's F**king Matt Damon!

OK, some background for those of you who have no idea why this is even funnier than the song itself. Jimmy Kimmel has this long running joke wherein he invites Matt Damon to be on the show and then at the end of the show announces that he's sorry, but they don't have time for Matt to come out. There's a pretty funny clip of Matt Damon storming out and "losing it" one time. (I'll link it later.) Sara Silverman is dating Jimmy Kimmel, so it's kind of a funny "payback" for the running joke.